Éducation à la sexualité : Qu'est-ce qu'un « kink » ?

Sex education: What “kink” means?

Have you ever heard the term “kink” or “kinky”?

In fact, the term “kink” or “kinky” sexuality refers to a sexuality that is labeled as outside the norm unlike vanilla sexuality, called conventional according to society. “Kinky” sexuality is a sexuality with sexual fantasies and sexual practices (“kinks”) that are identified as deviant. It is important to note that the judgment of what is conventional and deviant regarding sexuality was determined several years ago according to societal norms that have evolved today.

In the 70s, there was a movement to claim the right to have a more libertine sexuality and the culture of “kink” by a community that had long been pushed aside. Indeed, “kink” has long been stigmatized and continues to be so to this day. On the other hand, according to a study at the University of Montreal in 2014, “few fantasies are unusual or rare, although they are qualified as atypical in the DSM-5. »

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Moreover, Fleur Sauvage Lingerie wishes to join the fight against the stigmatization of “kink” culture to be able to demonstrate that sexual fantasies and sexual practices are an opportunity to explore sensations to promote better sexual satisfaction. We also specify, in the consent, the safety and respect of all parties involved.

Kinky sexuality and the importance of consent

Sexuality with “kinks” involves practices like sexual domination and submission, bondage, fetishes, etc. When we talk about “kinks”, it is also important to know that certain associated practices are not sexual, but rather to “challenge” oneself and seek sensations in a different way. For example, “shibari” is a bondage practice that involves tying a person with ropes either to the ground or at a height to generally promote submission.

There are therefore several ways to experience one or more “kinks”, one thing is certain is that consent is always put forward in “kinky” culture. Unfortunately, in the stigmatization of BDSM practices and “kinks”, violence is often associated with them. This is why when promoting “kinky” sexuality, it is important to clarify that being safe, confident and able to give consent at any time during a “kink” practice is essential. Without consent, the practice becomes sexual violence and is no longer considered BDSM or “kinky” sexuality.


Examples of “kinks”

Some “kinks” have been more publicized than others, not necessarily in a positive sense and often even in a humorous sense. Which means that the image we have of “kinks” is quite limited.

Several popular references have addressed foot fetishism, for example, which involves having a strong sexual attraction towards that part of the body. We then talk about the desire to touch them, lick them, look at them which causes a large percentage of a person's sexual arousal or all of their sexual fantasies and needs.

We also often see a representation in the media of the heterosexual stereotype of the rich man and his submissive partner as in the series Fifty Shades of Gray which has had a great influence on the collective imagination regarding the definition of kinky sexuality. However, this cinematic reality does not represent the majority of kinky culture.

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Here are other examples of “kinks”:

  1. Lingerie and body accessories (our favorite)

Being excited by the fabric and appearance of lingerie on a body. (Lace, transparent mesh, latex, leather, etc.). There may also be being aroused by already worn and unwashed lingerie for attached body odor.

  1. Voyeurism and katoptronophilia

Being aroused by watching sexual acts and watching yourself masturbate in front of a mirror.

  1. Role playing games

Being excited by playing out a scenario or a power relationship with fictional or pre-determined roles.

  1. Nipple fetish

Being aroused by nipple stimulation.

  1. Urophilia

Being aroused by urinating on someone or having someone urinate on you.

  1. “Cuckolding”

Being aroused by seeing your partner having sex with another person.

  1. “Auralism”

Being excited by sounds, therefore the rubbing of bodies, moans, etc.

  1. Orgasm control (“edging”)

Being excited by controlling the time of your partner's orgasm or their orgasm during masturbation.

  1. Impact play

Being aroused by being hit with a hand or an accessory like a whip, crop or paddle.

  1. “Praise kink”

Be excited by being complimented, encouraged and rewarded. The popularized terms “good girl/good boy” can be associated with this “kink”.

  1. Bondage

Being aroused by being tied up or tying up a person.

  1. Tentacles

Being aroused by the stimulation of sex objects or toys with animal forms of tentacles.

Our perception, at Fleur Sauvage Lingerie, is that there are as many “kinks” and sexual preferences as there are humans. This is why it is important to be able to talk about it and learn to communicate well regarding sexuality to promote consent and erotic fulfillment for all.


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