Fantasies: an invisible erotic representation

What is a fantasy?

A fantasy is a representation in our mind that evokes desires/wants sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously. So we have imaginary scenes that form in our head some will be sexual and others not with the aim of stimulating us. Our fantasies will be in development and evolution based on our desires and our previous experiences.

Sexual fantasies are directly linked to our unconscious, which can be challenging to accept at times. We may feel like these sexual scenes and desires in our head come from a part of us that we do not know and therefore have difficulty understanding. Fantasies have the function of creating excitement, not necessarily sexual, which can take us out of our comfort zone in our interior, when we talk about them or when we experience them in reality.

A little history about fantasies

The term "fantasy" comes from the German "phantasie" used by Freud defining it as "the advantage of being free from the resonances of whim or oddity linked to the notion of fantasy". In the psychoanalytic approach, the concept of fantasy confronts the fantasy/reality axis and the fantasy/sexuality axis leading to the question: "Are sexual objects real or fantasies?". According to Freud, fantasies are a mixture of real memories and drives.

Are there any fantasies that can be problematic?

Some fantasies can become very invasive for a person causing distress, in this type of case it is strongly advised to consult a sexologist. There are also fantasies that can take shape in connection with one or more issues that in reality if we wanted to realize them would be violent or illegal. Here is a resource for this type of fantasies: https://casuffit.info/It is important not to stay alone and to avoid isolation by living this type of fantasies, it is possible to have help to be able to reduce the distress and suffering in professional follow-up.

Should we share and communicate our fantasies?

It is up to each person to decide whether it is important and whether the desire is present to share their fantasies with one or more people in their privacy. It is as good to want to talk about them as to keep our fantasies to ourselves, depending on the place that these desires occupy in your mind and the desire or not to want to realize them. Some like to share them to be able to create excitement between partners or to be able to experiment with certain fantasies in reality. It is also possible to share some and keep others for yourself to stimulate yourself during masturbation, for example.

In any case, questioning and reflecting on our fantasies can allow us to learn more about our desires, our limits, our wishes and our preferences in relation to sexuality. Then, since fantasies like sexuality are constantly evolving, it is normal that all these questions are not clear or answered at the same time, and that is quite normal!

Does pornography stimulate or kill our fantasy imagination?

Pornography can stimulate our imagination, both in terms of photos and videos. However, like everything, we must be careful not to abuse pornography which can cause problems later on regarding sexuality in reality. It is therefore important to differentiate the two and to use it as a tool of fictitious stimulation without it becoming an obligation to be able to experience excitement in reality or with a partner.

Sources:

https://www.passeportsante.net/fr/psychologie/Fiche.aspx?doc=fantasmer-avoir-fantasmes

https://casuffit.info/topic/1d-quest-ce-quun-fantasme