Desires that I don't always understand.

I've had these kinds of desires in me for a long time. I would say wanting to be tied up and feel out of control of my body for a few moments. I think about it quite regularly and it's quite intense. I've never realized it, because it scares me, and I've always had trouble accepting it. In fact, it bothers me to have desires whose meaning I don't understand. I don't know if I'll eventually find the opportunity to realize it (would I feel better afterward or not?), if it will pass naturally, or if I need to be able to explain it. Is this normal?

THANKS